Take Responsibility for
Finding Your One True Love
Be Deliberate about Getting Married.
Don’t Give God the Responsibility He Gave You.
Have you heard this before?
A married woman says to you, “As a single woman, I gave my life to God. I served my church. (Note: Replace “church” with the name of your prayer group, or your community, or your orphanage, or your old senile grandmother in a wheelchair….) Friend, I didn’t look for a potential husband. My eyes were on the Lord. If He wanted me to get married, then He will provide Mr. Right for me. And that was what happened. You know what? My future husband came to me. I wasn’t looking at all, but it’s as though he dropped out the sky, and God served him to me in a silver platter. And now I’m happily married, praise God!”
Nice story.
Touching.
Fills you with hope.
For years, I’ve believed in this mushy gunk too.
Not anymore.
Today, I’ve realized that for every married woman who says this “God-provided-me-with-a-husband-dropping-out-of-the-sky” story, there are 10 equally religious single women in their forties and fifties desperately screaming, “But what about us? We’ve been busy serving God too! And we’re still waiting! We have yet to see a husband on a silver platter!”
This is an example of over-spiritualism.
Filipinos Are Prone to Over-Spiritualism
In recent years, a lot of Christian books have come from America concerning romance, dating, love life, etc.
As you read my book, you’ll realize that I’ll be disagreeing with most of them.
Here’s their basic philosophy: “Trust in God the Matchmaker. He’ll pick the guy for you. He’ll give you a husband. Don’t look. Don’t search. Don’t do anything.”
As I write this book, I’m one of the elders of a happy singles group. Out of our singles group, 80% are women. Because I travel all over the country, I’ve discovered that my group isn’t an isolated case. The men are nowhere to be found. When you’re a single woman, that’s depressing.
And then they read these God Will Give You a Husband books and it’s driving me nuts. Because all they do is… do nothing!
Here’s what bothers me. Filipinos, because of our culture and history (400 years of colonial rule) are a passive people. We don’t take action. We don’t take responsibility. We just take what life gives to us. That’s our core problem.
Because of this, we’re prone to over-spiritualism.
If you notice, bahala na is a corruption of the local name of our God, Bathala.
My dear friends, you don’t need books that tell you, “Don’t do anything. Let God give you a husband.”
Who’s Writing for the Mature Singles?
One of the most popular books that came out about single life is I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. I see it everywhere.
It talks about not dating, but building friendships, and growing up.
I’d say the same thing too to the right audience. (See Appendix B of my book on “A Message To Young Singles”.)
But one day, I saw my female friend carrying this book, earmarked and underlined.
“I love this book, Bo,” she gushed, “it’s really perfect for me.”
I winced.
She was 35 years old.
When Joshua Harris wrote that book, he was only 21 years old. He was writing for teens and young tweens who change romantic partners the way they change clothes. They needed to hear his message.
But a 35-year-old single Catholic woman who’s not had a date in the past 10 years? I doubt it.
I realized that no one has written a book addressed to mature singles — who are nearing 30 and above (some waaaaaaay above). That’s why I’m writing this book…
Bahala na means throwing everything to fate
Note: This is a snippet from Bo’s newest book entitled, How To Find Your One True Love. To read the entire book, you can order the E-book at www.onetruelovenetwork.com It will be launched as a printed book on July 2006. Watch for it in all major bookstores in the Philippines.
posted on 11:05:00 PM
said...
Here’s what bothers me. Filipinos, because of our culture and history (400 years of colonial rule) are a passive people. We don’t take action. We don’t take responsibility. We just take what life gives to us. That’s our core problem.
>> guilty as charged. trying to change that though. narealize ko lang na true success won't be given to you in a silver platter. you have to go and take it.
